Same Sh*t, Different Day

There has been a pattern in my family (more specifically, with my siblings) for nigh on twenty five years: a major crisis occurs, a summit is held, and I’m the one who gets dumped on. The first time this happened I was thirteen–everyone went back to their lives, but I was the one who had to come home at lunch and make sure Mom was still alive. She beat the odds: the doctors sent her home to die, but she fought it and won, but there were some dark days in those lunch hours that certain people don’t know about, and they probably wouldn’t really care if I told them, then or now.

Fast forward four and a half years: my #2 sister is diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was in California at the time, in my first fire season, and I was on my weekend. I was really excited, it was a pretty day, and as I was looking out the window at 7 in the morning, I saw a truck that shouldn’t have been there. It was my captain’s truck, and just as I flew out of my room, he came in and told me to get packed: I was going home. WTF? Well, time would reveal that my manipulative brother had gotten my eldest sister all worked up, and they decided to send me home to take care of the dying sister. Again, my life had to come to a halt while they maintained their lives out of state.

When my mother was dying fifteen years after my sister died–2006, now–the whole thing overshadowed the first three years of my marriage: always waiting for the next crisis, always on call, always defending my actions (or Dad’s), always having to pick up the slack, always having to deal with Mom’s increasing irrational behavior, always at the house because Dad never had the heart to call the ambulance when Mom was in the throes of an ammonia attack. They didn’t get involved until the week before she died, and they cconveyed their shock at how bad it was–Dad and I didn’t think much of it, it’d been this way for so long we didn’t think about it. I did the mortuary thing with Dad, as I had with both Mom and Dad when #2 sister died (#3 brother had no idea what to do, despite his machinations in other matters), and I arranged the funeral at church. I picked up the pieces when everyone went back to their lives.

So now, there’s a new crisis, and this time, I was given no forewarning. I was out of town and I come back on Monday, and it came down this way: ’By the way, #2 brother is now up in Wyoming with #3 brother for an undetermined time, and Dad’s alone, so you have to mind him now.’ I was incensed. So now, on top of work, school (and with both of those, I’m not home until 10pm some nights), and various other responsibilities, I’m supposed to take care of two houses, two households, two yards? Hell, I can barely keep up with mine.

As I told Dad yesterday when I came to talk to him about this new development, what’s going to happen when my husband and I go and have our own lives out of state? We’re in the planning stages of getting the hell out of Phoenix and moving to NC; we’re so close that we’ve narrowed down the areas and we know what we want, and even have a loose timeframe of 18 months to two years for the move.  I made it clear that Dad and my puppeteer siblings better start putting that under consideration.

I talked to my sister last night, and she commented that I hadn’t been to the house a lot since Christmas. At the end of my rope, I snapped, “Pardon me for having a life!” I swear, these people have no clue. They’d better get used to it, and fast. Not only have I been very busy, there’s no reason for me to be there. Dad knows that when shit hits the fan, he can always call and I’ll be there. But I’m not a nursemaid, I’m not a servant, and I resent hugely this presumption that I’ll drop everything so that their lives go on, uninterrupted.

*sigh*

They’re going to get a rude awakening, and soon.

The Stench From the Field

This election year’s presidential race reeks. And who is left in the field? For the Dems, it’s Obama and Billary; for their opposite number, it’s McCain by a landslide and Huckabee thrown in for interest.

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Obama: he’s a kid, a babe in the woods. I don’t care how smart he is, I don’t care where he went to college, I don’t care about his religion, I don’t care what color or racial background he is. He’s a first term senator, winning his seat against the polarizing and reactionary Alan Keyes–more because his opponent was claiming stupid things such as how Jesus wouldn’t vote for Obama, and not because of a stellar campaign. The two biggest complaints I hear from people about him is 1) he’s relatively new to the political arena, and therefore might/probably will be eaten alive by the Beltway crowd, and 2) he is charismatic, a great speech maker, says and proposes all these great things he’s going to do, but he’s not laying out any real solutions.

He’s “young”, he’s hip, he’s the candidate du jour on the college campuses and with with the high school kids who can’t vote yet. But what is he going to do if he gets it?

Hillary: Last name of Clinton. I do not like her, never did; I always have the nape of my neck crawling every time I hear or see her. I give Obama kudos–in that debate not too long ago, he asked, “I wonder who I’m running against.” Even more to the point, a poster on the news aggregator site FARK said one time that ever since Reagan’s administration, there’s been a Bush or a Clinton in the White House in some capacity. Think about that. It’s a scary thought. She’s pissed off some important people with her ambitions, and she’s now reaping what she’s sowed: people who would normally endorse her are endorsing Obama.

I do not count her down and out with the Obama victories; after all, she waltzed into New York, threw money around for her Senate seat and here she is. She is a force to be reckoned with, and the Democratic Convention will probably be very bloody.

Huckster: He lost any momentum he had by venting his Bible thumping–in politics, you have to be very careful, as you can say one thing and the media will crucify you (xref: Howard Dean). He’s made a joke of himself by palling around with Chuck Norris. However, when compared to McCain, he’s a straight shooting Republican: against amnesty for illegals, anti-abortion, does not support gay rights, supports the war, against gun control, for the death penalty, etc., across the board, which is why he even had a small chance–just ask the folks who voted in the Kansas primary.

Did you know that Huckabee’s wife’s maiden name is McCain?

McCain: Since McCain is from my home state, I can assure you that yes, he likes the *image* of being a maverick, that he is indeed as insecure, temperamental, and vindictive if crossed as rumored, that in many ways yes, he really should switch parties. However, one has to give him credit, whether you agree with his stances or not: his son has served and will (apparently) continue to serve in Iraq, and McCain stands firm, and doesn’t interfere with his son’s military career.

He’s gotta stop with the “I was a POW” stuff–that was fine in the 80s when he began his political career, but that line is increasing irrelevant as younger voters come into the fray. I do like one thing he did while being interrogated: when they badgered him for more and more information, at one point he gave the names of the Green Bay Packers’ offensive line (at the time) rather than those in his squadron.

The main thing that McCain has going for him are his experience (been around forever, it seems) and that he’s a known quality. Things against are his temperament and his age, and with many people, his stance on the Iraq War.

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That said, isn’t it sad that these people are our “best and brightest” in the political realm? The people who really should run (on either side) want no part of the presidency.

This presidential field, in a word, stinks to high heaven.

We’re back to choosing between bad and worse. There has to be a better way.

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This is how I think it will go down: McCain as a shoo-in with an interesting choice as his veep. Hillary will win a bloody fight for the nomination, but she will pay a heavy cost for it.

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I honestly believe that America doesn’t mind a woman or a minority as a potential president. It’s time.

 There are caveats that have become painfully obvious in this election cycle.

If you vote for a candidate because she’s a woman, or that he’s black, or that this candidate has a certain ancestry and background, then you need to be shot. Voting by sex or race defeats the purpose of your right to vote. Put each candidate’s position in a spreadsheet and look at it that way.

I cringe when people write into the op-ed page and say moronic things like “I’m voting for Hillary because she’s a woman” “I’m voting for Obama because he’s not white.” NO! NO NO NO! This is a grade school mentality. 

On a semi-related note, if you have to call someone so they can tell you how to vote, you need to be shot, too. Good Christ, think for yourself–you live in the best country in the world and why in the hell would you NOT exercise your right to an opinion and stance and your own personal guide to voting??

I work in an office where my boss is active in a particular political venue, and come election time, without fail, these dimwits call, apparently unable to look anything up themselves: ”Joe Schmoe, who should I vote for? who is [in line with their political activism]?” Such passivity is dangerous. Stay home, please.

Vote for the BEST candidate regardless of party, race, gender, or warts.

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Personally, I want Tom Selleck to run for president. He explains his political views as “a registered independent with a lot of libertarian leanings.” Hmmm, non-party lines? Individual liberty?

Mr. Selleck, would you consider a run?

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I come from a family of political conservatism, parents who voted along party lines without fail. My father would faint if he knew my personal opinions on things and my voting history. I keep my own counsel; things are bad enough without being subjected to his narrow views.

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I believe that we will have a third party within my lifetime. People are tired of politicians being wishy washy and hypocritical–one can’t tell a Republican from a Democrat half the time.

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REMEMBER: VOTE SMART!!

Slacking and Loving It

Well, here’s my internet home. It won’t be riveting, but it can be interesting, and you might learn things you never knew before.

The Failboat* is an colorful description of my life at the moment. No, not in all areas; gadzooks, if the rest of my life would just follow my phenomenally awesome marriage, it would be paradise. But now that I can say I’m 36, I wonder where the time has gone and where did my teenage dreams go?

I had it all planned out when I was seventeen: I was going to school and going to teach and coach and be phenomenally awesome. I was going to marry and have my perfect 2.5 kids and all of that, long before I was thirty, be perfect and wonderful and blah blah blah. Well, such is idealism at seventeen.

I got derailed by wildland firefighting right out of high school. It’s a job and an experience that not many people, let alone women, do, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have some interesting stories, and now and again I’ll delve into those memories, both good and bad. I’ll even have running commentary when it pops into the news and tell you the real stories that the newspaper idiots never tell you.

After seven years of hiking hills for a living, I got tired of the misogyny and politics and rampant bullshit, so I took my toys and went home. I added to my resume ramp operations for an airline, emergency dispatcher, an uncertified teacher at a charter school, a financial aid officer for the worst ever for-profit school in the nation (gee, guess which one? ha), and I’ve finally come home to the legal field, where I use my brains and have a respectable and decent paying career.

In subsequent posts, I’ll ruminate on my piss-poor bad luck in my love life until The One came along. The One is awesome, perfect, and so rare in my age group, and no, not yours, can’t have. Mine!

Today I am a slacker. The Boss is in court, I’m at the office alone, and I’m enjoying the hell out of the silence. The phone has only rung once this morning; there were no messages (sweet!). I know I’ll be screwed later, and not get out of here anywhere near 2:30 because of high maintenance clients. But, until then, I’ll email back and forth with a dear friend, send love notes to The One, and decide what I want to do with my new internet home.

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*Familiar? See you on teh intarwebs