All Aboard The Failboat!

Entries categorized as ‘OMFG!!!’

Dallas Cowboys Rundown of Meltdown

September 28, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Everyone who is a fan of the NFL is heaping criticism on Tony Romo, quarterback for the my Dallas Cowboys, after an atrocious outing last Sunday night. His poor performance resulted in three scores for the Giants off of three interceptions – if he’d not screwed up so badly, the score would have been 31-12.

 You’d think Tony committed murder – and in Texas, where football is second only to God, and to Dallas Cowboys fans (myself included), who are some of the most dedicated in the league, maybe it really is. (more…)

Categories: Dallas Cowboys · OMFG!!! · WTF?
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The Week From Hell

March 31, 2009 · Leave a Comment

This last week was from Hell.

On Monday, I caught DH’s cold. Sometimes he gets the worst of it, but it was my turn apparently… and I got a doozie (I’m still hacking a lung now!). On Tuesday, I got laid flat as a board by DH’s cold and left work early. I had to skip out on hockey because I can’t do that one important thing: breathe. L On Wednesday, I manage to survive the day, but still feel crummy and was hacking a lobe of lung or two. That night, I fell asleep in the guest bedroom so DH isn’t up all night.

Then come Thursday at 2am: I woke up coughing. I cough so hard at one point that the crunch in my lower back can be felt in the far reaches of the deep blue sea. I thrashed in agony like a landed fish. Seriously? I’ve coughed and thrown out my back? Shit!

So, the day went something like this: (more…)

Categories: OMFG!!! · WTF?
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I DID IT

February 28, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I went and gone and done it…

I signed up for a hockey clinic!

I think it’s wise, considering that I haven’t played inline hockey in ten years, wise in terms of doing it before I set a skate on the rink in a league.

LOL! Pray for me. I’m excited. :)

Categories: Hockey · OMFG!!!

Hell Hath Frozen Over

January 19, 2009 · Leave a Comment

The Cardinals–referred to as the “Tards” in this neck of the woods–have made it to the Super Bowl. Satan needs a goose-down quilted jacket.

No, I am not thrilled. I despise that organization. Although I like Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald personally, the franchise is a joke. I mean, jeez! They got kicked out of St Louis, fer crissakes. Then they come to Phoenix, butter up the idiots at Tempe City Hall and at ASU, and foist themselves on this town. The untold amounts of money the city of Tempe has dumped into the Bidwells’ flights of fancy was rewarded by yanking the Tards from the city. The only thing the city could hold on to and enforce was that the team may NOT leave the multi-million dollar practice facility at the southern end of town–so yeah, listen to this: they practice at the facility that is off of I-10 and Warner Road, but they play at the stadium that is at a minimum 45 minutes away. I wonder if the players get mileage reimbursement.

The location for the new stadium was a study in idiocy: one site was to be right in the flight path of Sky Harbor (you can’t have the blimps and other aircraft or fireworks in the flight paths, you morons), then they were going to put it at the junction of the 101 and 202 in Mesa. The problem with that was it was right in the river bottom, and the high water table there would have pumps running 24/7. See what kind of idiots they are? In the end, they brokered a deal in the west valley. The next folly was when the Bidwells bamboozled the taxpayers into paying for that monstrosity. Then they gave the bid for the stadium name to the worst and most screwed up for-profit education institution in the nation. What a comedy of errors.

At least with my team, the franchise paid for the new stadium. Jeezum Criminy, the Cards didn’t even have a) a winning team, b) a consistent fan base and/or c) enough attendees to ensure games get played locally–they didn’t need or deserve a new stadium. Hell, before last week’s playoffs, the franchise still had to beg the public to buy tickets so they wouldn’t be blacked out. That is a fact, ladies and gentlemen.

Despite the happy bleatings of the Repulsive and other media in the Valley (who have swung back and forth between blistering insults and rapturous praise all season like manic-depressives), there is quite a lot of indifference regarding the Tards despite their accomplishments these last couple of weeks. Really: look around the Phoenix metro area. When the Suns (hoops) or the D-Backs (baseball) are kicking ass, the valley is inundated with team colors and painted messages on car windows, and the team is on everyone’s tongue. Especially for the Suns–the town just gets slathered with purple and orange.

But for the Cards? The occasional window-held team flag, the runner at the top of the buses, the billboard on I-10 below the Buttes. People who don’t have a favorite team are just generally happy they’re in the Super Bowl. Anyone who is ecstatic–other than the dozen or so true-blue fans in town– haven’t attended a single game this season (I’m betting that the majority of the people at the stadium last night had not been there at all this season, if ever). People indifferent to football are happy because the team’s appearance in the SB is good exposure for Phoenix. However, the bottom line is that this town is not painted red and white for them. There is not that level of excitement here, and that’s a fact.

I know–Shut up! The forty millionaires watching the game at home joke refers to your Cowboys, too, pal–but the Cards in the SB is some kind of cosmic joke. I actually said once the game was over, “Hell hath frozen over.”

~~

The Pittsburgh/Baltimore game was definitely more to my liking. That was some freaking brutal football. There is a debate whether Clark initiated illegal and/or intentional helmet-to-helmet contact on Willis McGahee, and I don’t think so. Watch the replays: Clark dropped his shoulder to knock McGahee back–McGahee tried to get the lower position in reaction… I honestly think it was an unfortunate combination of split-second decisions by each of the players. There should be no fine, no suspensions. This is football, after all.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Mr. McGahee.

GO STEELERS!!

Categories: Life · Life in The Furnace · OMFG!!! · WTF?

Quandary!

December 16, 2008 · Leave a Comment

Since the day MIL pulled her guilt trip, I have had a hard time being civil to her. Not happy with the FIL, either, since he was her running dog. I’m fervently praying that Ma Nature thwarts her crap by sending a nice snowstorm to Denver on Christmas Day so it delays our flight home. That would just be delicious.

 

~~

 

There was a day, about six months ago, where my SIL and I were discussing Ireland. It evolved into a talk about a trip to Ireland, and then it became a trip for me and SIL to Ireland.  In the ensuing months, it became SIL, Princess Entitlement and me, then SIL, Princess Entitlement, MIL and me, and in its final form is now SIL, Princess Entitlement, MIL, Honorary Aunt, and me.

 

Oh boy.

  (more…)

Categories: Life · Life in The Furnace · OMFG!!! · Stupid Family Shit
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Okay, I’m Back from Cloud Nine…

December 5, 2008 · Leave a Comment

On Tuesday morning at about nine thirty, the phone at work rings. “Good morning, law office.”

“Hi babe.”

“Hey baby, how are you?”

“The eagle has landed.” Cryptic talk like this means that walls have ears.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. They want me to start on the twenty-ninth.”

Excitement was building. He was deadly calm, but being married to him, I know suppressed excitement when I hear it. “Oh, that’s wonderful. How much?”

He told me how much.

“WHAT?!” I screeched in surprise.

“Yeah.”

I think my eyes were blown right out of their sockets. I know that I spent the rest of the day trying to locate them and place them back into their orbits. Without advertising numbers, let’s just say that a) we’re hardly starving, but he was initially underpaid for his position where he is now, and hasn’t had a raise in two years because nobody there has any idea how to run a business and the business probably won’t exist by this time next year; and b) he not only jumps substantially to six figues in this new job, but also he has the potential of doubling our current income.

O. M. F. G.!!!

After about two minutes of fractured sentences punctated with “WOW,” and oblique references to benefits, my sweet husband says, “and now we can go forward with the adoption stuff because we can afford it now.” I melted.

After the phone call ended, I screeched with glee and clapped my hands. Then I sat in my chair, stunned, for about five minutes. After that, I maniacally stalked the office for about two minutes (good thing Boss was at court and I was alone). Finally, I had to share the great, wonderful, miraculous news; I called my friend in Indiana because he had kept me sane throughout this stressful period. Called his work, it went to voice mail; called his cell, went to voice mail, and I left a message. Then I emailed him. He finally popped up on Facebook’s chat and typed, “?” He was wonderful and I thanked him three different times for being there through the crisis.

I went to lunch, but I didn’t know initially where I was going. Didn’t matter; I was thanking God aloud repeatedly, tears streaming down my cheeks, as I tried to drive. The relief is that profound. Talk about depths to the heights!

I wound up at Sonora Brewery, the first person there. I entered, stopped, stared, and I said to Cindy and Liz, “A miracle has happened.” Then I did something I never have done before: I had a lovely hefeweisen with my lunch in celebration. I texted the husband and said I was having a beer with lunch; he texted back, “a day to celebrate indeed!” We went to Chinese for dinner in celebration.

Oh, praise God. Thank God! It’s only this evening, Thursday, that I have come down from the high enough to type a thing. Granted, the next six weeks or so we’ll still have to mind the pennies, but God, it’ll be so nice to not have to freak out at the end of every pay period.

~~

Naturally, the first thing we discussed once the first excitement wore off was the agreement that our spending habits can’t change. Let’s get the car paid off, then my student loan paid down, and we can go from there. Of course, we can pick up where we left off on the adoption application.

The relief for both of us is huge, financially and stress-wise, we can relax. We can enjoy the hell out of Vail, and not have to watch every single penny spent. We can enjoy and know we can pay the Visa down by the end of January when the statement comes.

I love it. The feeling is wonderful. It’s a miracle indeed.

Categories: Life · Life in The Furnace · OMFG!!! · Pursuit of Parenthood · WTF?
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